Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
