I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
