Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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