Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
