its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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