We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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