fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
