Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I checked into jail on foursquare
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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