Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
