What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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