i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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