Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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