And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize