His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
