Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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