reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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