I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
