Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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