I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
