I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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