census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize