I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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