It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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