ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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