She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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