So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
