k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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