You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
