We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
