Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
