THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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