Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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