So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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