I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
and she was petting her beer can
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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