Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
