I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize