you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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