i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
