2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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