It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
