Non-Jews are for practice
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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