Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
