the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Jerry, you need to find god
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I am naked and annoyed.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
