hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
