I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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