hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
