in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
