Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
barbara walters just said penis...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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