Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
