"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
