Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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