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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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