I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
