weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
