Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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