My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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