toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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