You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
