i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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