Well apparently he's into motor boating.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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