You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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