Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
